I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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