i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
