so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
