i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
