why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
