marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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