i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
