You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
