Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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