Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
