Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
