That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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