My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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