I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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