the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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