It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
