I just pynch a tree in the face
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
