There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
