She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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