sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just had sex on a roof
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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