I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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