I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
