get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize