You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
