she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
