He disabled his match.com account in front of me
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize