all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
