Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
