I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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