did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
