i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
