to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
