false alarm. still invincible.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
