i'm signing you up for texting rehab
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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