i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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