I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize