My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I am midnight drunk by noon
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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