Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
