no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize