I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
