After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm getting married
To pizza
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
