hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
