She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Randomize