I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
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