I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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