If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
