Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
