I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
