If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
