she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
