I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
