I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
