Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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