No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize