I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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