Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
