what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
