Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
