one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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