As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Randomize
