i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
