this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
