You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
