Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
True strength comes from lack of pants
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
